old habits July 14, 2007

Old habits are hard to break.  Sometimes you break them with out really knowing it and sometimes you know you are breaking them and just really don’t care and keep breaking them.

I flat out knew and planned on breaking a bad habit the other day.

I have told you the mess with the public school.  Well, there are 2 other mothers who are very upset and we decided to make fliers to post around town to let everyone know that there was a school board meeting and that everyone should go to it.  This involved me spending $20.  I got the money from the other ladies and went to town to make fliers(1250 to be exact).  After I had spent the money, I got home and found out that the people having this public meeting were going to try to close it to the public.  I found this out as Hubs was finding out that I spent $20 on this.  Needless to say he wasn’t/isn’t very happy with me.  He is now going on and on about how apparently our priorities are not the same.  How could I spend $20 on ‘that man’ when #2 needs new shoes.  He is going on and on about how ‘that man’ is more important to me than my own family.  I honestly don’t see it that way.  We just bought #2 a pair of Skechers.  I am planning on getting him another pair to start school with but for now, these are really all he needs.  And YES, I think $20 to get the townsfolk involved in this lynching is a pretty good investment for MY FAMILY.  There are quite a few people that say we just need to look the other way……the owner of the paper wouldn’t even write the story, but did write an editorial and basically said….there but by the grace of God go I…Everyone should just mind their own business…So, yes, I think it was a pretty good decision and yes, I do think it will work.  Everywhere we’ve gone to put these up, the people have been HAPPY to post them!

So, he’s pissy and acting like he’s so much better than me because he could care less about ‘this man’ and he isn’t obsessed with him like he says I am.  He thinks I am going to ruin #2’s chances at a decent life because of the retaliation that ‘this man’ will inflict on #2.  He keeps pointing out that we are HS #1 because of ‘this man’ and haven’t I screwed up enough of our children’s lives already!?

Oh, Yes, Back to my bad habits……..So, the night this happened, I didn’t even eat dinner.  I was very upset, and we weren’t really talking to each other.  Well, Hubs came into the living room and announced that he wanted me to take him to Sonic for dessert, ‘cuz the dinner that I had prepared didn’t really do the trick and he wanted something else.  So, we get to Sonic and I had already decided that I was getting a Large Butterfinger Blast with EXTRA Butterfinger and no whip cream.  I knew it wasn’t a smart thing to do, I knew I didn’t want those extra pounds just because I was mad at THE SYSTEM, but I didn’t care.  I wanted that comfort.  So I gave in and did it.  We got home and I ate all of the butterfinger that was on top and ya know what?  That was enough, I didn’t eat any more!  Hubs came in and got my cup and ate the rest of it!

So even though my spirit was willing, the flesh wasn’t weak!!